Discovering Divinity

My prayer is that one day, my testimony will inspire salvation for another.  My prayer is that I will never be ashamed to proclaim the transgressions of my past, so that everything in my present and my future can be given as glory to the one who saved me.  My prayer is that one day, other young woman who are reaching and yearning to be loved, will find the only love that will ever satisfy them.  That they will...

 discover divinity.

Circling through myself as I knew,

Surpassing any reflection, solitary blinded view
Speeding down a road
that only lead me back to that which was before I began.
No progression... u-turns via countless transgressions.

I was Lost.

Love in me was sought through love for him...

only, him was not the He I was seeking.

The He I needed was unreachable -
Reason being, I'd become unteachable.

Arrogant. Compassion had slipped thru my fingers
like it had never lingered there.

Tarnished was my soul. My snap and my beat.

My good china had been boxed up and put up for sale.
In its place was a generic -

a temporary substitute, easily shattered.

Can't even call it brainwashed - I was Mind-scrubbed.

Not even a glimmer

An eclipse of darkness had left me square betwixt me and myself.


How could there be hope for me in God?

This God of those people, this God of their salvation.
Its a farse. Trickery.
Not never for me.

But yet the issue was not ever me... see, oh no, it was Him. and them.

There must be something wrong in this - I can't relate.

I'll have to dig my own shortcut to heaven's gate.

This book, see I've never read it - but I already don't believe it.

You see.... how could there be hope for me?

But He was convicting

and try as I might at resisting
There came a time where
I couldn't find the same solace
in my shadows.

So I cracked the window.

The slightest space, a miniscule opening
See, that's the thing about light
It just needs a spark, and it floods in
If he could love me, I might find hope again

and He began... to touch... my heart.

And even though this journey's new

and my change is far from through
I'm humbled in forever praise
He will never leave us
my precious savior, His name is Jesus.